006. Are Your Kids Stuck in a ‘Parental Allegiance’ and What Can You Do About It?
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Kids in blended families quite often have a perception that they have to "choose" between Mom or Dad — the two people they love most in the world.
As parents, we want to think that OUR kids are not forced into that position, but the truth is the majority of kids moving between homes wrestle with this. They want to love both of their parents equally…and easily. But they worry about what each of their parents thinks and feels about their "loyalties".
It's not very common for kids to talk about these worries with either parent, but research indicates that this is a common struggle for kids. It's called a Parental Allegiance.
We may not be able to fully protect our kids from experiencing this, but we can help them feel free to love both Mom and Dad by avoiding a few simple things and making sure we've got the right mindset.
Even if it seems like your kids aren't "stuck" here…you don't want to miss this episode.
We'll uncover some hidden ways that you might be inadvertently feeding into your kids' struggle with Parental Allegiances…
…plus the three things you can do to keep yourself focused on helping safeguard the kids from all this.
Inside this Episode:
What is a Parental Allegiance?
How do negative comments toward the other parent impact the kids?
Ways we inadvertently feed into the struggle of our kids' Parental Allegiance
Adopting the mindset of freeing your kids to love both their parents
Finding the Neutral Zone
Cutting the Comparisons
Responsible Processing
What if my Ex is under-functioning or unsafe?
What if my Ex is the one feeding the Parental Allegiance?
What if my Ex acts in overly Toxic ways?
Resources from this Episode:
The Smart Stepfamily book by Ron Deal
Ready for personalized support? Schedule your free coaching call
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